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| Sometimes I just like to blog about my days and what I am doing
Last week
Mon - Work on Potpourri House Stuff for Web Store
Tue - Work on Potpourri House Stuff for Web Store
Wed - Drive to Columbus Texas to shoot video and photo for Pine Cove Staff Retreat
Thu - Finish the retreat and drive to Lake Jackson to spend time with Mom, Dad, Sister, bradley and Jayden
Fri - Spend time with mom and Jayden and looked for places to shoot photos, edited PC Staff photos, saw a fight in a bathroom
Sat - Got up talked to mom and packed, stopped by Amber's work then headed to Port Neches for Keeley Bertolio (now Grant)'s wedding. Did some photos and video there...
Sun-Woke up and chatted with Keeley and Brent's family then started my drive to Tyler, stopped n Nac and had coffee with Bethann, then headed to Tyler to do a green-screen video shoot with James Jenkins and Todd of Drs for a blood ministry kit. Dinner With James at Roadhouse.
Mon - Woke up and went and worked on potpourri house stuff at Todd's all day
Tues - Worked on Potpourri House store stuff all day and transcribed script for bloodcare kit. Long, but good day. Did dinner at Todd's.
What I will be doing
Wed - Working at Todd's on potpourri house store stuff. Meeting the Carson's at their home which I will housesit next week at 5. Dinner wih Rainwater, Matt Ford, Ben West, Cody Coe, Brian Elliott and I at Roadhouse at 7.
Thu - Heading to Dallas to do a video shoot for Every Orphans Hope
Fri - Green Screen Video Shoot in Tyler for Blood Care Ministry Kit, Head to Arlington to hang with Dave and John, Billy Bob's Maybe
Sat - Dog and Housesitting in Tyler
Sun - Maybe going to Santa Fe and Galveston for Aunt Marilyn's Bday and Housewarming party.
Mon-Fri Work stuff as I see fit since my partner is out of town
Fri - Leave for Nac, then to little Rock for friends Marathon
Sat - Random Fun
Sun - Marathon and Back to Nac, then Tyler
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| I'm not really a man who always knows what to say, I don't always say what is edifying or glorifying or what people want or need to hear. I communicate abundantly about some things, maybe even over communicate and don't share enough about others. What is funny, is that even though I desire to lift people up and challenge them, I often stunt their growth by saying things that are unnecessary. The biggest thing this makes me realize is that our intentions are insignificant when it comes to how we make others feel. This is an interesting thing... because... Our heart is what matters to God... He wants us to have a right heart, but only HE can really see it! (granted, people who know you really well too can typically judge the heart behind what you say and do) He also wants us to Love others, so the things we do and say need to be not what we want, but what others need. A great verse to illustrate this is "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen" Ephesians 4:29 So... this is a challenge I am looking at... I need to grow. I need to take the time to tell people the things I think. I have SO many incredible friends and acquaintances. I have been blessed to work alongside some incredible people. I have served among saints and hard workers. I have known some people whose hearts and wisdom were pure gold. I have had friends who have challenged me to do more and be more. Friends that have been through the loss of my cousin, loss of relationships, hard days, good days, and a myriad of other events. So... My challenge to myself is to look for the good, the silver lining, not only in others, but in myself. If I am not able to focus on the positive in my life, I can’t see it in others. I heard from a Muslim friend of mine that for Muslims, if they deny that God has created them great and with worth, than it is considered blasphemy. Doesn't it make sense that if we are constantly negative with ourselves and hard on ourselves and focus on our downfalls, our strengths and specialties will go undeveloped and overlooked? If we are not focusing on growing in our strengths that God has designed us with, doesn't that mean we are not living up to our full potential and therefore are not being as effective for Him as we could be? The fact that every individual is so different and has a varied skill and gift sets shows that as parts of the body, God has created us differently with the design to work together. So, first, we must begin working on growing and mastering these strengths and gifts God has given us. Then, as we become strong in those areas, we are able to begin to work on improving in our areas of weakness to be more complete individuals. So, to myself and all my friends, take today to rejoice in the blessings God has given you, for the person He has made you, for the new creation you are in Christ if you have come to Him, for the gifts and skills you have, for the people He has put in your life. Most of all, for His Love. | | |
| Wow! I just re-read that last blog post here on my Xanga. I feel so distant from what I wrote. I have dealt with and faced that demon in my life so many times. I have tried to find my importance in so many places, in people, friends, organizations, girlfriends, titles... and every time, that has been a temporal solution. It has been something to help me from point A to point B. All of my relationships have ended. All of the girls I have dated and spent so much time and effort trying to please and create a union with have failed.
Break-ups stink. I have been through too many. Whether the one calling it off or the one being dumped, neither way is very pleasurable. But, the truth of the matter is, the pain, just like the relationship is temporary. Until now, until this point in my life, I have not fully had my foundation set in Christ. One thing that has been certain for me this past 2 1/2 weeks is that I know where my hope and my value comes from. It isn't something I learned over night, and I really don't know when I learned it, but I realize that God has designed and crafted me to live out His purpose. It is not for myself to be furthered but for Jesus to be.
Many times I have wished that things about me were different... that I had Josh Groban's voice (I mean now come on, who wouldn't want that), Vin Diesel's muscles, Warren Buffet's money, Jim Carey's ability to make people laugh, C.S. Lewis's Wisdom, Sean Connery's accent, MC Escher's artisticness and Beethoven's piano skills. However, I know that I am not equipped with these things because I would use them for my own selfsih gain. That is not what I want or need. The point is not to praise the created, but the creator. I am just a utensil. I am a tool for Christ to glorify Himself... I just pray I am not one of those tools that has a purpose, but you just never use it (I know there are tools in every persons house that just sit there).
I want to thank all of the people in my life who have helped me realize that my purpose is in God, not in others. Thank you to all of those friendships that didn't last, thank you to all the trials and hardships... each has pointed me toward Christ.
Remember, in these times of economic hardship, these times of uncertainty, thewse times that may be troubled and tough... and know... Christ is here for you. He wants to be your foundation, your hard rock... He will provide in the areas in which we are weak. I pray this week and until I write again, that I and others will be discovering more of their purpose and finding their identity in Christ.
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It sure has been a while since my last one of these. I have never been good at keeping up. I never feel like the thing I am doing are that significant and I never think anyone is interested or cares to read it. So, I don't write until it has been a while and I feel like I have something to talk about. This is part of a bigger theme I have noticed as of lately. I don't feel like I am really that interesting or that many people really care about what is going on with me and my life. I feel very insignificant. I feel very boring. I feel lonely. I don't know why I feel this way? I have a great family, a loving girlfriend, and some stellar friends.
I am realizing that this isn't because of other people, but something within my self.
Do I not believe in my own worth? Why do I feel so inadequate? Here is the big one, Why do I doubt what GOD tells me about myself? I feel like for the past year and a half I have been shown over and over how I am "not good enough", which is probably good because at one point in my life I thought I had everything together and was a pretty great individual.
I don't know why, but when I receive praise or compliments from people, I don't believe it. I feel they are saying it, just to be nice. Have you ever known someone you were nice to because you felt sorry for them? I feel that is how others see me. I don't really understand why or where this comes from, but I really need some prayer in this area. I need people to pray that I find my self value and gain a correct view of myself by seeking out what God has to say about me and find my confidence in that!
This realization is a big one for me... especially in this point of my life. I recently took a job at a car dealership near Denton selling Nissan cars. This is a step to help make ends meet while I finish working on support for the ministry I have been involved in. I really felt God has led me to this and He will push me through it and help me do great things here. It is really hard to go from raising support from the forge, to raising it for Panama straight into a full time job on support, and honestly my failure to raise support in a timely manner made me feel more insignificant.
My God is big... He has used me for many great things. As long as I live and rest in HIS Kingdom I will see me for who He hand crafter me to be.
So, my desire is to follow Him, seek out His promises and live and walk in the Word daily. I hope all who read this are well. Know that you are a personally crafted individual and are one of God's Masterpieces!
A Great Quote on the matter...
We are what we believe we are.
C. S. Lewis
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| A romantic tip I got in my email...
How many faults do I have? Too many!
When Athena and her friends get together and the conversation turns
to complaining about things their husbands do or male bashing in
general, Athena refuses to participate. It's not that she doesn't
have things to contribute, but because she respects me and values
our relationship far too much than to air my faults and foibles in
front of friends.
Few things are more devastating to a man than to have his wife
criticize him in front of friends. We might pretend that we are
tough and can handle the intrusion into our privacy, but sharing our
defects in front of family and friends really does hurt.
When the "gripe session" gets going, Athena makes it a point to
start sharing with her friends some of my good qualities. Usually,
it steers the conversation into a positive direction and it helps
her friends to also praise their husbands -- which in turn helps
them to respect and appreciate them more.
Knowing that Athena refuses to belittle me in front of friends makes
me love and respect her even more.
Something to think about... | | |
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